The Union Statesman

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We’ve learned that the student who beat up the teacher during class, which video has been all over the internet and TV news for the last few days; we’ve learned that said student was not removed from school.  When interviewed, the teacher said that when she was taken away from her class, the student was standing at the door, not being tried as an adult and sent to prison, but having gotten away with it and back in class the next week.

It reminds me of the worst mantra of the teaching profession—”As Someday It May Happen” from The Mikado of Gilbert and Sullivan.  Sure, the terms are exaggerated (because how else do humans appercept?), but it still energizes me at times.

Ko Ko the Cop (really Ko-Ko the Lord High Executioner):

As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,
I’ve got a little list — I’ve got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground,
And who never would be missed — who never would be missed!
There’s the pestilential nuisances who write for autographs —
All people who have flabby hands and irritating laughs —
All children who are up in dates, and floor you with ‘em flat —
All persons who in shaking hands, shake hands with you like that —
And all third persons who on spoiling tête-á-têtes insist —
They’d none of ‘em be missed — they’d none of ‘em be missed!

There’s the banjo serenader, and the others of his race,
And the piano-organist — I’ve got him on the list!
And the people who eat peppermint and puff it in your face,
They never would be missed — they never would be missed!
Then the idiot who praises, with enthusiastic tone,
All centuries but this, and every country but his own;
And the lady from the provinces, who dresses like a guy,
And who “doesn’t think she dances, but would rather like to try”;
And that singular anomaly, the lady novelist —
I don’t think she’d be missed — I’m sure she’d not he missed!

He’s got her on the list — he’s got her on the list;
And I don’t think she’ll be missed — I’m sure she’ll not be missed!

And that Nisi Prius nuisance, who just now is rather rife,
The Judicial humorist — I’ve got him on the list!
All funny fellows, comic men, and clowns of private life —
They’d none of ‘em be missed — they’d none of ‘em be missed.
And apologetic statesmen of a compromising kind,
Such as — What d’ye call him — Thing’em-bob, and likewise — Never-mind,
And ‘St— ’st— ’st— and What’s-his-name, and also You-know-who —
The task of filling up the blanks I’d rather leave to you.
But it really doesn’t matter whom you put upon the list,
For they’d none of ‘em be missed — they’d none of ‘em be missed!

I really think this appeals to me because of the simplistic vision of No Child Left Behind.  We need quite the opposite.  We need to leave more children behind.  Now I know I’m using strong words, and so are you right now.  We both agree.  But what we agree on is not that kids shouldn’t be able to be kicked out of school because their right to an education trumps every other student’s right to learn in a quiet and safe atmosphere…  What we agree on is that anyone who stands in the way of a student learning needs to be removed.  As I’d always say to my Spanish classes: if you’re not going to learn Spanish, you don’t belong in my Spanish class.  The United States school system is shackled by 2 or 3 punk kids in every class, and other countries simply don’t put up with it.  Neither should we.

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